Salutations and good morrow to you all. I’m here to walk through 2009’s summer spectacle, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. The film had the monumental job of following up 2007’s Transformers. Despite that daunting task, the film re-captures the same manic energy and ‘splosions that made the first resonate with pre-pubescent males. If you were confused by the plot or the ending, fear not because I’m here to Fansplain Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to you idiots.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Synopsis
“The plot follows Sam Witwicky, a
high-schoolercollege freshman, and his talking car that go on the adventure of a lifetime as they try to stop the evil Megatron from obtaining the All-SparkMatrix of Leadership and destroying Earth.”
Michael Bay made the bold choice to include another world-destroying artifact that can be easily held by a human. Now, said artifact isn’t the world-destroyer, but it unlocks the sun-sucker inside one of the pyramids.
This film also introduces the evil Transformers rattlesnake, The Fallen. His inclusion transforms (ha) the title into a double meaning that only us intellectuals will fully grasp. The first meaning is referring to the villain, The Fallen, and how he will exact his revenge. He’s been in a stasis chair for thousands of years waiting for the last Prime, Optimus, to die. Once Optimus bites the bullet, he’s ready to f^cking party.
The second part is referring to Sam’s girlfriend Mikaela, who has “fallen” for him. Michael Bay is trying to tell us that love is a lie and getting tied down is a fool’s errand.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Ending
The ending of the film has not one but two full-blown resurrections within minutes of each other. Sam is saved by Transformers angels before resurrecting Optimus himself in a gripping few minutes of film. Optimus then takes to the skies thanks to Jetfire’s flight tech and destroys one of the Seven Wonders of the World before handily defeating The Fallen and Megatron, with the former perishing and the latter getting away. Why and how does he get away? No clue. The Army/Autobots should’ve tracked him down and finished the job, but I digress.
With the day saved and American audiences’ patriotism restored, the movie cuts to black and the credits begin to roll.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Ending Explained
Now let’s get into the nitty-gritty. The reason you clicked on this link other than the strong possibility I’d sent the link to you and you’re being a good friend/family member.
To the uninitiated, this film just seems like a walloping romp with no discernable message, but that isn’t true at all. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, with all of its explosions, racist robots, and pervy camera angles, does have one unmistakable message it wants audiences to take away…
That Draft Dodgers will be executed when the New World Order eventually takes over.*
In all of the battles, every single one, what is the one group that isn’t represented? Cowards. That’s because the film takes place in the year 2028 when our new Supreme High-Table is running the world. They are strict in who joins the armed forces, and those men and women who evade active duty will suffer the consequences.
Not a single draft dodger assisted in the fight against the Decepticons and The Fallen. Despicable.
I know what you’re thinking “bUt WhAt If It’S bEcAuSe ThEy WeRe DoDgInG tHe FiGhT???”
Well, I can’t believe that our NWO Supreme Beings would ever let something so repulsive as draft dodging slide. No, no, no, no, they caught those yellow-bellied cowards and fed them to the Transformer with the pair of (wrecking) balls.
I still have 3 more of these f^cking things to do…..
If you want to read the first Transformers Ending Explained, click here.
*I’m hedging my bets with that NWO stuff. If they take over, then I can point to this article and say I was always a supporter.
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