We live in a time where anything that’s been popular for more than a week eventually gets some form of entertainment treatment. Whether that’s a streaming show; book expansion; or feature film. Hollywood comes for it all. With the news that Fortnite creators, Epic Games, are considering an entertainment division and feature film of the hit game; I thought I’d throw my hat in the ring for a film pitch. Read below on how I think a Fortnite movie could work.
If you’re reading this then you probably already know the basics of Fortnite. But just in case, the main thing you’ll really have to know is that the island from Fortnite is located at the “Zero Point;” meaning all universes converge at that point. This island is the only place where you could see Captain America and Superman team up to fight Darth Vader. Just imagine a world where the characters from Illumination’s hit film Sing interact with the guitar from “Guitar Hero.” I bet Ash, the punk-rock porcupine who overcomes her own self-doubt, would be overjoyed at that opportunity. Below is a helpful and easily digestible graphic on the franchises directly and indirectly associated with the game.
The point of an adaptation is to take the original source material and run with it in a way fans would never expect. It’s not an easy task for such a straight-forward game like Fortnite, but I think I cracked the story. Here it goes:
Agent Fredrick Jonesy has spent his life behind a desk; monitoring the island and the players it inhabits. Some of his literal heroes are down there; competing in an epic Battle Royale. Fredrick (or F.J.) sees an opportunity for his dreams to come true when an unidentified object comes crashing through the Zero Point and landing smack dab in the middle of the island. F.J. volunteers to go down to the island to investigate. He’s told he’ll be just another competitor and will have no additional help once there. He’s partnered with the legendary Moisty Merman to investigate.
The duo arrive on the Battle Bus Island where they’re to board the notorious flying transport ship. It’s there we see such legendary characters like John Wick; Thanos; Dominic Toretto; and none other than Buster Moon from the mega-blockbuster extravaganza Sing. It’s Moon who comes up to F.J. with a dilemma; he needs $40,000 to save his beloved theater from being closed down. F.J. points to the Battle Royale island and tells Buster winning the event could land him a lucrative streaming sponsorship to cover that fee. Moon, who’s a dancer not a fighter, tells F.J. that he wouldn’t stand a chance over there with the likes of Peely running around.
Unbeknownst to Jonesy; his time spent talking to Buster foregoes his spot on the Battle Bus thereby forfeiting him from the competition altogether. Jonesy, now feeling lost and saddened by his failure, slowly falls to Buster Moon’s southern charm. The friendly marsupial convinces the Agent to help him put on a dance competition with all the rejects from the Zero Point. Characters like Ash the Porcupine; Meena the Elephant; and Johnny the Gorilla. This dancing competition aims to draw all the attention away from the epic battle raging on the main island (which we can see in the distance now includes Galactus and Travis Scott). As you can imagine, there are some hijinks that our silly characters get up to while getting ready for the competition. Ash stumbles upon a mystical guitar (YES) and Meena accidentally crushes Ratatouille from Ratatouille.
The big night is here and nearly everyone from the Zero Point skipped the event in order to save the universe. Jonesy is undoubtedly nervous (by this point Stockholm Syndrome has set in and he wants to please his Koala daddy). We see all of the characters dance their hearts out! Ash does a wicked guitar solo that gets everyone super pumped up and her dad finally says he’s proud of
him her. But she’s disqualified because that’s not a dance. Finally it all comes down to Jonesy who goes out there and effortlessly pulls off the Default Dance. The eight people in the crowd begin to cheer for our hero. We then cut to a live news coverage from the main island where it’s revealed the object that crashed on the island was Buster Moon’s theater! Jonesy turns to Buster who has mysteriously vanished. Roll credits.
It’s revealed in a post-credits scene that Buster staged the entire event (the alert at the Agent’s headquarters, F.J. missing the bus etc.) so that he can harvest the organs from the deceased characters to sell on the Black Market.
Rated G! For everyone!
What did you think of this pitch? Would you want to see the characters from Sing gut the remains of bullet-riddled characters in order to harvest their organs all while Batman looks on? Let us know in the comments below!
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